nutella sex= disaster
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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