I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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