There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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