There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize