u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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