It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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