All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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