Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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