I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize