When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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