Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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