party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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