why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize