hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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