Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize