when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
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You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm like, not good at living.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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