before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize