Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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