Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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