Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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