The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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