Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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