yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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