I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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