I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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