My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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