I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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