6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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