I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Someone shit on the floor
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
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gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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