im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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