so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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