Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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