Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize