she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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