he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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