yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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