The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize