when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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