You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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