How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize