it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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