I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize