I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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