just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize