I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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