YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize