When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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