He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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