My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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