And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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